April 11, 2013

Real Housewives of What??!!

You want to know what a real freaking housewife is?  Try going out to dinner with the husband, 5 year old and 4 month old and the family sitting behind you stops you and says, I think you have spit up on your shoulder!  Oh, thanks, I was just in the middle of eating, it can wait until later.

Or, while you are washing the dishes, you notice some crud underneath your fingernail and after close inspection, you realize it is POOP.  Don't really know how long it has been there and the sad part is I don't really care.  It doesn't faze me at all, is that bad?

I love the all the Real Housewife shows, don't get me wrong, I am completely ADDICTED, but really girls, when is the last time you changed a poopy diaper?  Or licked Desitin off your fingers by accident one time?  That stuff is really hard to scrub off.  Anyone?

Maybe it is just me but how about we do a reality show and make a lot of money on REAL housewives.  You know the ones that really stay home all day long and take care of the crazy kids and clean and cook.  Yes, we don't have nannies and we know how to turn a stove on.  Yes, I know, CRAZY!

By the way, I am Lauren's crazy Sister-in-Law, Dana.  She kinda got stuck with me by force but she is taking it really well.  I am the only girl and the oldest of 3 children.  Yes, poor me, I have two younger brothers and they are both weenies!  Needless to say, I take care of things and keep the 3 of us together.  They would never admit that, but it is true.  I have a wonderful husband who is caring enough to let me stay home with our children and pay my bills.  Childcare is way too expensive these days and just like Lauren's previous post...student loans BLOW and I don't have much to show for my lovely Bachelor's Degree, but I did get knocked up by my lovely husband a few months after I graduated.  It could be worse right?

Just this past week I was with my brother and Lauren for the whole week with my kids and other brother.  Let me give an example of how the week went:  My 4 month old son decided to have a blow out in his diaper.  (Any one who is a mother and reading this, totally knows what I mean)  He crapped up the back of his diaper and all over his clothes and my brother's carpet. By the way my brother is a complete control freak and has OCD and crapping on the carpet is a no no.  While I was preparing the bathtub to give my poop covered son a bath, he decided that he would pee all over the bathroom floor while he was at it.  So, while my brother is trying to get the poop off the carpet, I have to break more bad news and inform him that now he has to pick up the pee on the bathroom floor.  Do you still want kids?  All the while my Sister-in-Law thinks her uterus is falling out!  Yes, I know..different story for a different day.

So, the trip went well I think all in all.

Real Housewives of where?  Yes, that's what I thought.  I don't go grocery shopping all dressed up and in stilettos.  I am as real as they get.  In fact I am lucky if I walk out of the house without spit up on me and my shoes on instead of my slippers. (Yes, I have done that before and my 5 year old informed me after the fact that my slippers were on)  We pay bills and have arguments over money and the children.  I clean, cook, and make sure my daughter attends her pre school and gymnastics every week.  And I don't use a limo or nanny.  I have upgraded from my awesome 1500 GMC Sierra to the Buick Enclave with the 3rd row seat.  Yes, I am a high roller now!

Real Housewife of Syracuse, NY!

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