March 14, 2014

Love Letters

Sometimes my job sucks...

I know, I know, you're all like, "We've heard THAT before" but WAIT hear me out.

Sometimes my job sucks...but there are some perks to having a job that doesn't require a tremendous amount of effort.

A few of the things I look forward to throughout a typical work day include:
  1. Blog reading. 
  2. Catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.
  3. Applying to new jobs.
  4. My afternoon snack.
But the thing that I look forward to most are the daily warped and ridiculous e-mails from my mom (Katie) and my sister (Sarah).

Emails like this:

    Sarah Briggs
    to: Katie, Lauren
    RE: Hey!!
    Today is International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genitalia Mutilation. So, in case you had plans to mutilate a vagina today, hold off until tomorrow

    And this:

    Katie Briggs 
    to: Lauren
    RE: Kill Me
    Wouldn’t it be awesome to just allow yourself to say whatever you wanted to customers when they call?  
    For example:
    “Good afternoon! This is Lauren, can I help you?”

    “uh, yessiree, I think maybe you can.  Can you give me directions on how to git there from here?”

    “From where fuck-head!!!  Honestly, you people drive me insane.  How is it that you even have enough money to buy a tractor when you have no brains in your head!!!”

    “HUH? Um, you know, the road past 40”

    “Look dip shit, I don’t know where you are so figure it out yourself and don’t call back until you do.  And have a good day”

    And this:

    Sarah Briggs
    to: Katie, Lauren
    My belly button itches.

    These two have been keeping me sane from 9 - 5 with their insanity for the last two years...

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