November 11, 2013

Wal-Mart Adventures

I don't know if it is just me but for some reason my children seem to attract all the weirdo's out there, especially on our lovely adventures to Wal-Mart.  I HATE Wal-Mart.  Truly.  I have to need something really badly in order to go to Wal-Mart.  Parking sucks, there are never any cash register lines open and the "Self Check-Out" is a joke.  I tried it once and I guess I am dumb but I set off the buzzer after every damn item I tried to scan.  At one point the helper person just stayed with me until I was done because she had to reset the computer so many times.  Plus I had a coupon which I guess is a big NO NO at Self Check-Out.  Won't do that again.  I like to breeze in and out of a store and Wal-Mart is not the place you can do that.  And for some reason I always end up spending way more money than I intended too.  I am thinking it is because Wal-Mart has too many things to offer so I go a little crazy.

One time I was cornered by a couple that clearly had some sort of disability but I am not quite sure what kind.  They were interested in my children and asked what their names were.  I told them and they could not quite grasp the name Brett (my son).  They guy said Brent and I said no Brett.  And he said Bred and I said no Brett.  And he said Brent again and I said Yes.  They finally moved along and I think for the first time in 5 years my daughter was speechless.  She knew not to stare but they kept asking her questions but she really couldn't understand what they were saying so she didn't say anything at all.  I told them she was shy.  After they left I don't think she knew what to do.  I just said just be polite and smile. 

Have you ever seen those Wal-Mart videos they do showing all the classy people that come through Wal-Mart?  I am probably on there.  I have been trying to blend in hoping that nobody will talk to me or my kids.  So far it seems to be working or I am just too scary for people to approach. 

My latest adventure included my grandmother.  I love her.  She is great and she loves to say whatever is on her mind no matter the consequences.  She means well but she definitely crosses the line once in a while.  She has to do trips to Wal-Mart once a week.  She has a system down and she mostly goes to get her 5 liters of Diet Ginger ale.  They have the best price don't you know?  Some how I was volunteered to take her one week.  I really don't mind.  I figure it is good practice for when my parents become that age and they need my help.  Well what I thought was going to be a quick trip turned into a 2 hour adventure.  She had a coupon for Tylenol.  At some point during our rounds she lost the coupon.  Doesn't the stubborn old woman retrace all of her steps to find the damn coupon?  I mean we went back our every steps.  She finally figured she lost and decided to give up.  She placed the Tylenol on a random shelf in an isle.  She couldn't get it unless she had the coupon.   We were rounding the corner just about to get in line when she said, "let me check one more place."  Sure as shit she found the freaking coupon!  Now she had to go back to find what isle she left the Tylenol in!  Her memory was better than I gave her credit for because she knew exactly what isle she left the Tylenol in.  THANK GOD!  We made it to check out and didn't look back!  Of course I had both of my kids with me who were not too pleased but I had to give her credit because she didn't give up!

Wal-Mart Adventures.


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