June 26, 2013


I need to start off by asking if anyone has seen the new BMW commercial?  It is freaking hilarious.  Let me break it down.  The husband pulls into the drive way of his home, obviously in the BMW and his email pops up on the radio screen and says..."Hi Honey, my mom stopped by see you when you get home."  The husband looks at his email then looks at the house then puts the car in reverse.  As he is backing out the email pops up again and says..."Hey honey, where the HONK are you going?"  And you actually hear the car honking during the little blurb that really is the F word.  I think that is great...anyone?  I love my in laws so I don't have that feeling but my husband and mother definitely have a love hate relationship and that is something he would do.  LOVE IT!

So a few weeks ago the stomach bug ran rapid through our house.  I hate stomach bugs.  I would rather have anything but a stomach bug.  The puking, diarrhea, nausea, give me anything but that.  Not to mention that they are extremely contagious and usually if one person in your household has it then the whole family is going to get it.  Stomach bug and kids...not a good combination.  My husband got the bug on Friday and my daughter got the bug on Monday.  She was a trooper...I will giver her that.  It was actually Memorial Day and we had some friends over for a BBQ.  My daughter was playing bubbles with her friend when she started vomiting.  Not just a little either, like a whole hot dog and then some.  I cleaned her up and got her to rest and gave her some water and she was like I am good.  So I figured it was just a fluke and she was ok.  Really I was having a good time with my friends and I really didn't want to deal with a sick kid so I sent her back out to play.  Yes, I know horrible mother, but you only get so much time to yourself...you want to enjoy it.  I don't think it was 20 minutes later and she was on the deck vomiting again.  She has the whole yard to throw up in and she comes on the deck where every one is and starts barfing.  Awesome.  At this point I figured she was really sick and needed to go to bed.  So I unfortunately asked our guest to leave so I can tend to my daughter.  What I didn't expect was a replica of the exorcist. 

What started out as just barfing and needing to rest turned into world war 3.  As she was barfing in her pan I gave her she pooped a little.  I figured she was barfing so hard that it just slipped and she would be ok.  I get her in the shower and cleaned up and of course after all that she needs to barf again.  So she is leaning over the toilet and barfing and while this is going on I notice that she has poop running down her leg.  I say "Lex do you know that your are pooping?"  And she says "No Mom I just farted"  And I'm like "No Lex you are pooping"  She had no idea.  This is how bad this stomach bug was.  She had no idea that crap was running down her leg.  She literally thought that she just farted and no big deal.  Oh no.  This was the messiest stomach bug I have ever witnessed in my life.  And it SMELLED!  The pooped smelled, the barf smelled, my daughter smelled....everything smelled.  At one point as I was cleaning my daughter, I actually stuck my head in her barf bowl because I thought I was going to lose it.  That is how bad it smelled and I don't have a weak stomach.  I can actually tolerate a lot!  My husband's under wear was in the garbage when he had it too so he also fell victim to the whole pooping the pants thing.  I did eventually get the bug but lucky for me I DID NOT poop my pants!

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