I know, I know, you're all like, "We've heard THAT before" but WAIT hear me out.
Sometimes my job sucks...but there are some perks to having a job that doesn't require a tremendous amount of effort.
A few of the things I look forward to throughout a typical work day include:
- Blog reading.
- Catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.
- Applying to new jobs.
- My afternoon snack.
Emails like this:
Sarah Briggs
to: Katie, Lauren
RE: Hey!!
Today is International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genitalia Mutilation. So, in case you had plans to mutilate a vagina today, hold off until tomorrow.
And this:
Katie Briggs
to: Lauren
RE: Kill Me
Wouldn’t it be awesome to just allow yourself to say whatever you wanted to customers when they call?
For example:
“uh, yessiree, I think maybe you can. Can you give me directions on how to git there from here?”
“From where fuck-head!!! Honestly, you people drive me insane. How is it that you even have enough money to buy a tractor when you have no brains in your head!!!”
And this:
For example:
“Good afternoon! This is Lauren, can I help you?”
“uh, yessiree, I think maybe you can. Can you give me directions on how to git there from here?”
“From where fuck-head!!! Honestly, you people drive me insane. How is it that you even have enough money to buy a tractor when you have no brains in your head!!!”
“HUH? Um, you know, the road past 40”
“Look dip shit, I don’t know where you are so figure it out yourself and don’t call back until you do. And have a good day”
And this:
Sarah Briggs
to: Katie, Lauren
RE:Uhhh...
My belly button itches.
These two have been keeping me sane from 9 - 5 with their insanity for the last two years...